Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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