At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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