you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
