is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
