First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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