I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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