You're completely useless in the revolution.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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