I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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