her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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