This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize