I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
