Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
