If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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