There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
