i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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