there was a trapeze. enough said
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
