Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
