I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize