I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
