Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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