Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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