would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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