I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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