I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
