i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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