Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
