What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
