Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
