My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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