A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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