she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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