pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
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I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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