He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hippo gnu deer
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
