Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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