While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize