Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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