Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize