you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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