the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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