Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
