Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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