Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
