he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
