So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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