no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
