Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
