Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
