I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
