there was a trapeze. enough said
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
