Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Randomize
