i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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