At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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