Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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