and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I touched a dick in church today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
