one might say we're banned from that church
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
