I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
