how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
soo... how was my night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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