I need help removing her.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
