That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
