his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
