You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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